Sunday, February 24, 2013

Life is Good -- C'mon, Get Happy --by Rebecca W.

My initial emBody write-ups were about trials I had been through dealing mainly with my poor self-esteem and body image. All had good things to say that others could relate to. But after reading through each draft, it never felt like that was the post I was supposed to send. While reading through a recent post on my own blog, it dawned on me that I finally knew what I really wanted to write about. A topic I love; a topic that resonates with me.

Today, I want to use that same post with a little bit more elaboration.

A recent conversation I had with a friend shed some light on my life, where I stand now and where I can go from here. I answered a question with a phrase I’d thrown around for years. However, it wasn’t till this particular chat that I realized exactly what I had meant by it and how much it rang true for me.

Ken and I were catching up. Having not seen each other for years, the topics addressed were the normal ones for young, single, college grads from Utah – work, money, dating (of course), future plans and dreams.

“I have this film project I really want to do. I won’t feel whole till I can complete it…I just need funding. It’s like I’ve finally realized what I’m suppose to do with my life. I dream about it every night-it completely occupies my thoughts and then I just…know. You know? What about you, Bec. What’s your dream?”

I’m living my dream

“Haha seriously though – what’s your dream?”

After thinking about it for a while, a smile came across my face. I looked right into his eyes and said:

In all honesty, Ken, I AM living my dream.

He had a puzzled look.
“What the hell do you mean? What you do-your job you have now-that’s your dream?”

Let me explain. My life has had its ups and downs, just like everyone else. I’ve been no exception to misfortune, sadness, internal struggles and feeling like the entire universe is working against me to keep me from having things I want. I’ve experienced the death of my father, several forms of eating disorders, purposefully injuring myself, dealing with an addiction to codependency, and have battled depression. I use to live from one pity party to the next, constantly comparing myself with others in every possible aspect of life and I was determined that I was one whose “problems” were far beyond repair. Notice that its past tense.

In the last two years, I’ve discovered a different way of living – a better way of being. I didn’t change any eating or exercise habits or increase the amount of time spent reading through scriptures.
I learned to live out of drama, to live with no shame.

As human beings, are constantly bombarded with subliminal (and not so subliminal) messages telling us that who we are is wrong: how we dress, talk, eat, move, look and think about ourselves.
Don’t believe me? Take a look at this commercial by Dove.
In its simplest form: I have learned, through massive amounts of practice, to completely believe with my entire soul that I – who I am right now – am ENOUGH, and know it to be true. I am enough. I am enough for God; He loves me regardless of how big my thighs are, any lack of intelligence or the fact that there will always be one person better than me at something. I am ENOUGH for Him and that is all that matters. Period.

So, back to the original topic of conversation – my dream is to always, no matter what my circumstances are, be truly happy. And the best part about that dream is that it’s completely attainable for anyone who wants it. I have things I do now and that I want to do in the future which I consider steps to help make it possible for me to always be happy. Once I discovered and practiced this way of living, my life became clearer which lead to simplicity and higher self-esteem. I was finally completely at peace with how my body looked; I could see my true self in the mirror instead of mistakes; I was able to find the beauty in my “imperfections”; I was able to love myself for who I was and not torture myself for not being flawless.

Sure, I’m not perfect, and yes, this whole thing might sound crazy. But I have learned that it’s not the trials I’ve been through that determine who I am-it’s the way I choose to deal with my trials, the emotions they bring, and any repercussions they may have that determines the kind of person I am now and will continue to be.

There are five steps to this life.

Step one: Get out of drama. Pretty tricky because IT’S EVERYWHERE. Own whatever you need to that is rightfully yours. Don’t deflect responsibility by pointing out others faults. Don’t spread yourself thin trying to make things perfect for everyone else. Don’t mope about, taking the blame for everything and dwell on the thought that things are always your fault. When you take ownership for something you did, be accountable without feeling shame about who you are. You made the mistake-YOU AREN’T THE MISTAKE.

Step two: Take care of yourself!  You only get one body, one mind, and one spirit.  Sleep. Eat well. Exercise. Smile – it’s been proven to actually make difficult tasks feel easier. Strengthen your relationship with God. Believe in His love for you with every ounce of your soul. Trust it; build on it; know that you are enough.

Step three: Choose happiness. Everything is a choice, including your emotions. Though different feelings and emotions are brought up, every minute is an opportunity to choose how to be effected by coworkers, social media, family and your own thoughts. You can feel anger and choose to not dwell on that anger. The same goes for sadness, frustration, alienation…you get the idea.

Step four: Positive affirmations. They work, people! Here’s a darling little girl as proof:

Ones I love: I can do hard things; I am strong; I am enough because I know who I am; God loves me, I am enough in His eyes, and that is all that matters; Everything will go my way today.

Step five: Trust yourself. Love yourself. Always be moving forward and living IN THE CURRENT MOMENT. What happened in the past doesn’t matter and it should stay in the past. Don’t go digging things up. “Life by the yard is hard; life by the inch is a cinch.”

For me, living those five steps each day is crucial.

Where I am in life, right now, is great. It’s even more great because I know I’m not going to be stagnant and in the same place forever – I’m going to grow through all sorts of experiences. I’ll move, change jobs, find new passions and make new friends, all of which will make me happy for I’ve learned how to deal with anything life throws at me, including degrading thoughts and feelings about myself.

So, I start off each day with my affirmations, a happy/upbeat song, a dance party (literally, it helps), some exercises and stretching and a smile that doesn’t leave my face because I know that every day will be the best day possible because I choose that it will be. I am the only who can determine my attitude and how the events of the day will impact me. That, my friends, is POWER. Combining that with the truth that I am enough for my God whose love is endless and unmatchable and I am guaranteed a whole, authentic happiness.

It’s the best feeling in the world.

My life is good.
I am true to myself and am striving to always by my true self.
I know I am enough.
That is how I live my dream every single day.
I love it.
And I wouldn’t change it (or any of the hardships that helped mold me to where I am now) for the world.

I have found my happy.
If you haven’t yet, I recommend that you go and find your happy as well.


1 comment:

  1. This has been my very favorite post! It's so...CONSTRUCTIVE! What we can do to heal and grow and be lifters of self and others and dreamers in action. Thank you for this post.