Monday, October 15, 2012

If I'd only known before...

There is a book on my bookshelf that I've read and re-read several times since I purchased it a few years ago. It's called, "If I'd Known Then", by Ellyn Spragins. It's women in their 20's and 30's writing letters to their younger selves, giving advice and encouragement. It is something I've wanted to try myself, and also something I've wanted to read from other people too.

I think we should start a series of these letters, on this blog. So send them in anonymously, or send them to Dana and she can post them. I'm sure we all can think of something to write ourselves, even if it's just:

"Dear 12 year old me, when you kicked that boy in the kneecap and made him cry because he was saying mean things about your family... you made me proud. Your family is the most important thing to you in life... thanks for knowing that even as a kid. :)"

See? It's fun!

Here's my letter:

Dear 16 year old Lana,

In Autumn this year, you're going to realize something about a certain boy you think you love (as if you even understood it back then). He's going to ask for more than you're prepared to give, and when you say no, he'll dump you within 5 seconds of your answer. You'll be crushed that someone could not mean any of the feelings they said they had, but it will teach you more about life than you knew before. I know you don't believe me right now, but you will say no because you're tough as nails and nothing keeps you from forging your own path. Not even your mom can convince you to do what you don't want to do, so I just want you know that I'm extremely proud of you for sticking up for what you think is the right decision for yourself. You'll waiver a little later when you meet other people, but it will only remind you of your tough choices that you made and make you stick back to your decision even harder later.

You're tough, and even though life seems to run you ragged and torment your emotions during this time of your life, you are funny as hell, and you have more going for you than most of the girls who you envy. They will just get married and get fat before you've even started your program in your bachelor's.  Sometimes you'll be jealous they have someone, but you'll never be jealous that they got fat so young. I know, I know, as an adult that shouldn't be where my mind still goes, but it does, and I know you'll understand what I mean by that. What I'm trying to say is, you have more going for you than you ever realize. Comparing yourselves to these girls that seem to have everyone after them, big boobs, and amazing style to boot will one day not have those things because they took a different path than you who always tried to be different. One day someone awesome sees you as the best thing since Neil Armstrong landed on the moon!

So don't fret my dear, it's the ones that seem a little weird and unpopular in high school that get the cool lives later. Just think about all those nerds that invented Apple, or all those gawky girls that end up as supermodels, and listen to your mom. She said you'd get a lot of dates in college. Mom knew what would happen no matter how much you rolled your eyes at that. 

Oh and also, stop listening to that stupid pop/rap music, it makes you dumb. As much as you think it's just music, it makes you sound like a slut when you sing along and you end up acting like an idiot during that phase of your life. Have some class, girl. Stick back to your No Doubt, your indie bands, and your classic rock station, you end up reverting there anyway after you get sick of all the mindless music that is produced by talentless people. 

Oh and please don't stop drawing when you get to college. You lose the skill, and you had a good one... and I miss it.
Anyway, hang in there, and I'll see you when you're older!

With a lot of love,
Older Lana
Ok, mine was a little lecture-ish but yours don't have to be. Anything you want to say to yourself, just do it. It's really fun to read over later. 

I can't wait to read all of your letters to yourselves! 

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