Monday, October 1, 2012

I am a child of God--by Jessica

I could go on and on about my personal journey with self image, self confidence and dealing with my weight but today I will spend only a moment on that subject. I will say I have looked at my thighs with utter disgust, contemplating a way in which I could cut some of them off. I have counted calories, I have worked out just because I wanted to be thinner and wanted to fit into a pair of jeans. I have checked myself out in the mirror to check if I looked good enough, if my curves were in the right places and altered my posture to accentuate certain parts of my body. I have looked at those close to me with jealous eyes hungering after their perfect legs and toned arms. I have thought that bulimia wouldn’t be that bad. I have been very foolish.

Through the past years I have began on a journey of seeing and understanding my body from Gods perspective. This journey accelerated in April and now I can honestly say that 95% of the time I LOVE my body. When I look in the mirror and I see a spectacular creation, a healthy, vibrate and energetic being and that being is me! What a miracle I am! Yes there are images and messages everywhere telling me that in order to be happy I need to be a size 2 or less, weigh 130 pounds, have a perfect face and toned muscles and wear sexy and sassy clothes, but to honest I don’t care. I am a size 8 and weigh 150 pounds, I am strong, healthy, I can run, dance and be playful at any moment and I am so happy that my body works.

How have I gone from wanting to cut off my thighs to loving my physical appearance? First off it is a daily conscious decision that I make. Yes, I make it every day. Daily I choose to love what I see in the mirror. Second, I have been educating myself about my creation, who created me, why I was created and what does my creation has the potential to become. I was created by God, I am a child of God and do know what a child of God has the potential to become… A God! How liberating. Every time I look in the mirror I see a God in training.

God created everything about me spiritually first and then physically. I am a complex being spiritually, emotionally, mentally and physically. Everything about my physical being has God’s signature written on it,` I just have to look for it.

I have become picky with what I allow into my being. I have filtered out the elements of my life that were encouraging me to see my body an object; TV shows, blogs, movies, images, songs, and people. I am on an important journey I want to fulfill my destiny and become a God and I can not afford to allow elements into my life that will distract me from my goal and leave me feeling of less worth.

The most recent change I have made is the way I dress. When I get ready for my day instead of looking at my wardrobe and trying to wear something that will make me look cute, hot, skinny, attractive I look for items that complement my character, my personality. I am a vibrant, energetic, animated and happy person so I try to dress according to that. I wear color, I love layering colors and adore accessories. Now when I look in the mirror I see me, my personality and character radiate and I am beautiful. When I pass my reflection instead of looking at the way my jeans fit or if my tummy is flat enough I ask myself “do my clothes allow my light of Christ to shine?”

My last thought is inspired by a remarkable friend; she challenged me to have a captivating heart. I have been thinking about what my heart looks like, is it captivating? Is it kind? Is it honest? Is it true? Is it thoughtful? Is it virtuous? Is it Christ like? I have been trying to focus more efforts on what my heart looks like and to see past the shapes, sizes and clothes of others and see their hearts. If the first thing we saw was our heart many self image problems would cease to exist.

We are all children of God and we can become a God. Let’s not waste our time letting external factors tell us otherwise. If you don’t believe me get down on your knees. I dare you to ask God if you are beautiful. We are God’s GREATEST creation. Instead of thinking negative thoughts towards your body seek God, seek goodness, seek light and seek truth within yourself. You are full of glorious reminders that you are a child of God and that you are indeed beautiful. You have so many reasons to celebrate yourself!

1 comment:

  1. Wow!! I love this. I am inspired and touched. I love the idea of dressing to show your personality. And most of all I want to see people first and foremost for their hearts. What a beautiful and inspired thought!