Monday, September 24, 2012

Mormon Modesty: We have to do better.

It's a popular topic, but I never get tired of thinking/talking about it.

read this.

Thoughts?  Discuss.


  1. I quite like this. It's demoralizing how the rhetoric on modesty just further exacerbates the concept that female bodies are public domain to be judged and regulated by others.

  2. No matter how much everyone would love to keep children untouched until they are an adult and magically understand the world, it's never going to work that way.
    Children are wonderful because of their innocence, and barring extreme circumstances, they keep it pretty well until biology starts shredding them. No amount of lectures or examples will make adolescence a smooth conversion. Similarly, no amount of lectures or examples could ever teach a person about life the way nature does.

    One line in particular hit me: "bombarded with messages that there is something shameful and potentially harmful to others in her body".
    It's sickening how true that is. In fear of mistakes, adolescents are constantly cautioned about how to control themselves. The repetition changes the message from "How wonderful, this physical form; don't hurt it" to "You are a potential threat kept in check by your constant diligence." Treating the girls like temptresses and the boys like fiends creates the extremes we try so hard to avoid. No wonder pornography runs rampant: how can a young boy be expected to come to terms with his hormonal state that he is told to fear? No wonder self-esteem is such a problem: how can a young girl be expected to hold her head high when she is constantly trying to find that medium that is both pretty enough and not too pretty to avoid negative judgment?
    Self-control and temperance are certainly good qualities, but they should NEVER come at the expense of the happiness that comes from self-acceptance. We are miracles, not monsters.

  3. I have to sit with this for a bit to come up with a real response, but my knee-jerk reaction is: this is spot-on.

  4. Amazing post. I'm starting to read some of the others on modesty from that site as well, and I echo Jourdan - it's something I have to sit with, chew on for a while and process. Here I am, 30 years old, and it's baffling how much I feel that I don't have a handle on this topic. I think it's because I've been doing those things that the author said is exacerbating the problem, not combating it. It's going to be a long process to rewire my thinking about modesty - and especially "Mormon Modesty", but it needs to be done. For my sake, for my future children's sake. Thanks for sharing this!